Jimi Van Whalen in Financial Trouble?
TMZ has reported on a rumour that Jimi Van Whalen of Hair Metal Radio may be facing financial difficulties. As evidenced by a recent Tweet from Van Whalen, he has recently started working mornings at Home Depot. Further rumors indicate that Van Whalen may have worked in the Power Tools department on Monday. Thought I'd send you all a selfie
Continue ReadingHMR Forced to Close “HairBook” Social Media Network
It was a simple idea with a simple premise – The Facebook of Hair. Now, after posting 13bn dollars worth of net losses, Hair Metal Radio has been forced to close their own personal social media network, HairBook. “I really thought it was gonna work,” said HMR bassist Jizzy Straddlin via Skype from his family’s rural trailer home. “After multiple
Continue ReadingAxl Sinatra Wins “ER Patient of the Year” for 3rd Consecutive Year
Boasting a number of concussions that would shock even an NFL widow, Axl Sinatra was once again voted “ER Patient of the Year.” According to Sinatra, he was nominated for the award by “Whatever Hospital” in “Whatever city this is.” He then asked what day it was and walked into a neighborhood Denny’s where he ordered his meal using only Bon
Continue ReadingHMR Snubbed at Hair Metal Awards
In what is quickly becoming a national pastime, Hair Metal Radio was once again snubbed by the music industry, this time by not being nominated for a single award at the first annual Hair Metal Awards in Las Vegas, NV. Despite being obvious contenders for the “Best Use of Anti-Aging Cream” and “Most Obvious Wigs” awards, HMR were completely ignored
Continue ReadingTMZ Music: Exclusive Recording of Hair Metal Radio New Year’s Eve Gig!
TMZ Music has obtained exclusive rights to a recording of 5 songs from Hair Metal Radio’s New Year’s Eve performance. Check it out here:
Continue ReadingJizzy Stradlin’ Leaves HMR for Creed Cover Band!
This just in… After seeing the Craigslist ad below, HMR bassist Jizzy Stradlin’ immediately left HMR to audition. He is presumed to be currently hitchhiking to Denver, CO. If his soul patch doesn’t completely grow in by the time of his audition, he may return to HMR. Serious Bassist Needed for Creed/Nickelback Cover Band (Denver) GOD BLESS We are a
Continue ReadingFlying Monkey Gig Review
Here’s a summary of our gig at the Flying Monkey on Nov. 25th. All in all, it was pretty freaking epic!
Continue ReadingHMR plays a Poison song, and Axl doesn’t forget the lyrics!
MTV News — HMR Singer Axl Sinatra in Bizarre Accident
HMR Bassist in Space!
This just in from HMR HQ… Bassist Jizzy Straddlin will be the first ever rock “musician” to play a bass solo while strapped to a rocket that is traveling into space. Jizzy trained for this bass solo with NASA, because that makes sense. After hearing nothing but bass solos for sometimes up to 12 minutes per day, NASA told Jizzy
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