Hair Metal Bowling Alley
Hello Hair Metal Radio fans, Bert Loder here filling in for Jizzy Straddlin who is currently getting fat pumped out of his butt and into his jowels. This week’s asinine “Hair Metal Monday” brings us back to 1989 with the members of the band experiencing some dramatically sudden hair loss, getting stuck to industrial equipment, and demonstrating their sheer inability
Continue ReadingHMR BREAKING NEWS!
Bassist Jizzy Straddlin’ was hospitalized late last night after suffering complete tongue paralysis due to overuse of the word fuck. Dr. Peter “Scrote” Johnson, an otolaryngologist at the prestigious Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN said, “I’ve never seen a tongue as twisted as Jizzy’s. His mouth looks like it was used as a lethal weapon, both cunningly and lingually.” The doctor
Continue ReadingHMR Interviews: Nikki Stix
Hello HMR fans old and new! Bert Loder here with another Hair Metal Radio EXCLUSIVE interview! The delay for this posting was due to the fact that I had to hike the barren Canadian tundra to reach the wintery home of Hair Metal Radio drummer Nikki Stix all the way up in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Although there are several airports within
Continue ReadingThe Emperor’s New Axe
Bert Loder here with an HMR News update – Earlier today Hair Metal Radio guitarist Jimi Van Whalen put up on Craiglist perhaps one of his most famous guitars. A link to the Craigslist post follows: https://chambana.craigslist.org/msg/5518562661.html And because we at HMR News anticipate the listing will be removed once Jimi comes to his senses, a screenshot of the listing
Continue ReadingHMR Interviews: Jizzy Straddlin’
Bert Loder here for HMR News. I recently interviewed none other than defamed Hair Metal Radio bassist Jizzy Straddlin’ from the comfort of his family’s shared mobile home trailer. Before we begin, I must make an editorial note… When I arrived, Jizzy asked me if he could take a shower as I interviewed him. Because the bathroom in his family’s trailer
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