The Band

Jimi Van Whalen

Lead Guitar, Background Vocals
Originally playing all the instruments himself, he decided the HMR stage show would be more impressive if he recruited some talented people to perform with. After failing to find any talented people he ended up with the band he's in now.

Nikki Stix

Percussion, Background Vocals
Not much else is known about Nikki Stix. He prefers to keep his aura and mystique buried deep under a heavy musk that emanates from his persistently moist drum throne.

Axl Sinatra

Lead Vocals
Axl is the lead singer of Hair Metal Radio because he's the tallest and strongest and also because he had his own wireless mic which, at the time, no one else in the band could afford.

Ace Von Spade

Bass, Background Vocals
Although a veteran rock star, bass player, and former beauty pageant winner, Ace is most proud of his cowboy boots, which he purchased from a nice, older woman named Geddy Lee while at Lemmy Kilmister's estate sale.

There are 5 Comments on this post

  1. JIZZY
    9 years ago

    WHY IS MY PICTURE ON THE BOTTOM. ALSO YOU CAN’T SEE MY HAND IN THE PICTURE BUT I WAS HOLDING THE OLYMPIC TORCH IN THAT PICTURE. THE ACTUAL OLYMPIC TORCH. I STOLE IT FROM SOME IDIOT RUNNING DOWN THE HIGHWAY.

    Reply
    1. Nigel Squatney Author
      9 years ago

      The bass player always goes on the bottom. You probably don’t know this, but you also only get 1/3 as much pay as the rest of the band. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you.

      Reply
  2. Amanda
    7 years ago

    you guys rock. I hope to catch a show one of these days, Amanda

    Reply
  3. Sean
    3 years ago

    You guys sound awesome with just a solo guitar player. Ever consider a 2nd?

    Reply
    1. Nigel Squatney
      3 years ago

      Jimi Van Whalen’s inflated ego would never allow that to happen.

      Reply

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